Selfish child?

Was watching Desperate Housewife to get me out of my misery, and something that the priest say to Gabriel appeal to me more than ever, am I just a selfish child that is whining for more attention? I don't really know the answer. Here I am writing my blog after i been out with my pals. Till date(and to the near future), I will always tell the people in my world that being in Perth and knowing them are the best things that could have happen to me. I will always stand by this statement. Even though I am somewhat dissapointed. I know this entry may not make any sense to anyone.. but i am just trying to get it out of my chest and hopefully out of my mind. Cos i know that if this thing stay, I couldn't go back to who I was and how I spend my time with them. And at the end of it, perhaps someone can tell me whether am I the selfish child?

I was very much hurt by the incident that when I was ill then went to KTV without me. As I yearn to go there since Monday after my exam but uncle rejected flatly cause wen haven finish hers. Accepted that as a result, cos Ohana means family, it means nobody get left behind. But on Thursday, they went without me, i felt so deserted. Am i wrong to be ill, what have i done wrong? It is because I studied too much and din join them for dinner, thats why they are angry with me?? Perhaps someone who know the reason can enlighten me.. Anyway, I was sad, really sad and disappointed. So when they came to visit me that very nite, i din know how to react and i did wat i normally would, kinda of ignore them. And i think they sense it, so they decided to go back. Felt bad about it, so i told myself that "hey, it is just a ktv session, you can go yourself, dun be like a kid" thus, the courage to ask wen how the ktv session goes. Though, i was draggin my feet while doing that task. It hurts and i think it shows but thanks god for technology, no one will know.

Then, a crazy idea appear in my mind. I was thinking perhaps if i were to leave the same week as uncle, then we would not have to have a painful departure and i think all will be happier. Cos i dun know wat had happen between us but i know it definitely hurt the relationship that we enjoy. How i love the times when we were at MR. Or am i wrong to join them for dinner?? I don't know.. truely. I still might pull the stunt cos i am still relunctant to move in with them. Cos if i move in with them, i can't pull the stunt anymore.

I think what makes this whole thing worse is that i am still homeless after the 5 july. I got no place to move to.. this really breaks me.. I din know that finding a place is so difficult and humiliating.. how many times have i cried over this i have already lost count. but i am not going to admit that i have lost, cos no one like to be associated with a loser.. me neither. I will strive on to find a place to stay cos i really believe that i will wan some space.. maybe i am really a selfish child??

After ranting like an super irritating ah soh, I will send my wishes to Core, who will be leaving for the airport later at 5 to fly back to malaysia for holiday and Elaine who is going back for holiday as well. Hopefully i will see u guy and gal after your holiday. Bon Voyage!!!

Feeling better... and no more crying over petty stuff...
DazednConfused

Sobbing

I am sick and i am feeling miserable. Having headache, cold, cough and fever.
And I am alone.

Grieving

I am grieving cause i broke my MD player. It had a fall yesterday and now it can't play. *crying* I am grieving..grieving. And the problem here is that there is no place i can bring it to for repair here cause Sharp doesn't sell MD here. I will have to wait till i am back home. I suddenly want to fly back straight after exam cause i want to fix my MD.

My MD.. with lots of memories.. It accompany from Singapore to Japan to Malaysia to Thailand(did it) and now Australia. The most well travel gadgets of mine. I don't want to lose the memories. Till today, i finally realise that i have this MD player for almost 5 years and I want it to be with me for at least another 5 years.

Till i get back to Singapore, I will live with grieve and anger.. why the hell did i drop it on the floor??

Back to study.. got to concentrate, but without my md.. a bit difficult. I will try.. thats the least i could do for my MD..

Missing and Loving you..
DazednConfused

Oops....

Your Linguistic Profile:

50% General American English

35% Yankee

10% Dixie

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

here i go again...

Your #1 Love Type: ENTP

The Visionary In love, you are always trying to improve and grow your relationship.For you, sex should be a spontaneous adventure. Overall, you are magnetic, inspiring, and a charmer.However, you tend to get bored and want to change partners frequently. Best matches: INFJ and INTJ

Your #2 Love Type: ENFP

The Inspirer In love, you are passionate and eager to develop a strong bond.For you, sex should be playful, creative, and affectionate. Overall, you are perceptive and bring out the best in your partner.However, you tend to hold on to bad relationships after they've turned bad. Best matches: INTJ and INFJ

What's" Your Love Type?

another one.. before my hair dries so that i can go to bed!!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

can see that i am really bored from studying!!!

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more open with you.

With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.

You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's" the True You?

Just saw this on SPUG and i think the idea is Fantastic..

1st July 2005 - A BLACK DAY FOR COMMUTERS

We urge all S'poreans to wear Black on 1 July to register their displeasure at the public transport fare hike, and also ERP charges. We wear Black because mere words cannot express our disappointment. We have become speechless at this administration which time and again choose to ignore public feedback. We want to make our silence visible.

I like the idea.. so i am helping to spread the word.. i know some may ask.. for wat??does it help? I know that nothing will be change but at least let the world know that we are not happy about it.. and it doesn't hurt wearing black for a day, does it?

Help to spread the words around...

DazednConfused

monthly update..

haha... i just realise that i have neglected this blog.. and i think it is time to give it its due respect.. this month kind of flew by and it is already june.. 2 months to the day i am to leave down under and fly back to the tropical island.. with my expanded collection of winter clothings.

The first and most rejoiceful thing is that i gotten a job and that i am earning some money while i am here and it also mean that i can buy some clothes for myself..which is good as the clothes here are cheap esp when they are on sale..

And for the first time, i went and helpout for Vesak day celebration.. and i must confess that it is fun.. just make u feel so alive and that you are doing something good.. but lets not talk about what happen the nite before the celebration lah..*shhh..secret*

Then for the second time of the month, i volunteer to helpout at Roleystone.. Roleystone is a high school at Roleystone that comes to Curtin to visit once every year and we, from the CBS Plus, will organise games and some extra stuff for them while they are here.. so i went to help out and mind you..they are really a bunch of kids.. they were competing who roll down the faster from the small hill outside the Aboriginal Studies building.. and i was like.. 'wats wrong with them'

Went for river cruise later that week.. and it is super crappy.. over 200 ppl cramp in a super small vessel that i was told it could only accomodate 100 max.. so much for safety. But the worst is that the cruise seems like a social competition event for the guys.. and there seems to be an invisible rule hangin over the clouds that each have to bring a gal home for the night. so since that is the rule of the thumb, almost everyone does that.. if not they tried. After that, we went done to Northbridge to continue and met this very cute guy that speak super fluent Japanese. Though i can pick up his japanese.. he is just going over the board.. and kinda irritating.. but we let him since he is cute..haha.

On Sat (21/05), we have dinner with Ray.. for his farewell as he is moving to Sydney, for the better. We all know that but still sad that he is leaving.. just when i started to know him.. and his cute cute face.. went clubbing after that as usual at the usual hunt.. frankly, i din think i will miss him but i am wrong..

The following week past by with the rush of the birth of TM second assignment.. working with someone that is super irritating make it worst. But i survived. The worst was when TM presentation is to be due on the 2 june and she din finish it till that very day.. and i was the one that did literally the whole presentation and she still got the cheek to say that i am in the wrong.. but wat has pass has pass so i am not going to be bothered about it..

Forgot to mention that we also went to celebrate Ivan's birthday at Como.. Carl 'bake' a cake for him, we make muffin and the rest contributed by Kit, Sean and i think Core. Jason was there as well.. after makan-ing, we went over to the jetty and started talking ghost stories.. the night past by quickly and we set off for home when all is freezing and we can't stomach anymore ghost stories.

Just yesterday, went to send Ray off at the airport.. Sean, Kit, Jason, Core, Eason and Me is there to send him.. Sean cried as he is close to Ray.. Me and Eason was fine (initially) but we cried as well on the way out.. cos we just realise that the next one to send off will be me.. and i just can't bear to leave these fantastic friends.. But something that i come across my mind is that.. I know that we will meet again... and you will never lost a good friend.. u just see them lesser.. but friend will always be friend.. and these bunch of uni friends is what that make the life here so enjoyable and though it is only 4 months.. i feel like we have known each other for more than that.. where else can i find someone that enjoy the same things as me...we know each other taste and look... and the style that each of us protray.. When shopping, we will be able to identify that this is 'so libby' or that is 'so huiwen' or 'so eason' or 'so natalie'.

I WILL MISS YA!!!!

DazednConfused