there shouldn't be good in goodbye

for as long as anyone lives, go through one of such pain, it makes you more of a human. and stronger.

times does flies..

times flies and many things changes. after such a long time i finally decided to face the decision that i have made long time back and be responsible, fight my fear. 

i read these articles and started to realise more about myself than anything else. if i have decided to actively solve this problems then to just hide and avoid the problem away i would have done the correct way. 

Weisman cites four categories of reasons people in his survey set aside serious doubts and got married anyway:

•External pressures from parents, partner or others.

•Misguided motivations (infatuation, to escape parents).

•Personal beliefs (such as that the partner will "change").

•Thinking they won't find anyone else because of personality traits or low self-esteem.

(reference :http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-12-01-marriagedoubts_CV_N.htm)

And i can completely checked this list:

Based on my research, here are the five most common reasons cited for marrying the wrong guy:

1. We’ve dated for so long I don’t want to waste all the time we have invested in the relationship.

2. I don’t want to be alone.

3. He’ll change after we get married.

4. It is too late, too embarrassing and/or too expensive to call off the wedding

5. He is a really nice guy; I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

(reference: http://coldfeetpress.com/907)

I guess this time round i will be firm. Maybe this is the reason why i am giving myself no chance to turn again. making this as public as I can. So that i will live with this decision. 

I will still be thankful cause this entire ordeal make me stronger. i am sorry that i have to make him grow this way. it is not the way that i want to make this work. but i guess i have tried and i am sorry.